Attitude Reminders

How often do we accomplish less and waste our energy by having a negative attitude?

This morning my 6 year old son decided he would NOT put out the forks for breakfast.  By the time my husband had finally gotten him to do so, he had used up at least 4x the amount of time and energy it would have taken him to set them out after the first time we asked.  It was all about attitude.

It seems in every project I work through, there are things I can control and things that I cannot.  I may not be able to control whether a client makes a final purchase or if a friend gets the job they have wanted for years.  Still, one thing that is always in my control is my attitude.  Sometimes I wish it wasn’t.  Then I could blame someone else for my angry response to a difficult situation.  Like it or not, we do have the ability to choose our attitude in every kind of situation.

As a professional speaker, I have been told that many times what you speak on is a lesson you are continuing to learn for yourself.  I speak on tools you can use to work through life adventures.  Many of these tools will only work if you have the right attitude in the first place.  I admit that I have not mastered the process of always looking at the bright side.  Still, when I do, it makes all the difference in the world.  I still need to listen to my own words as a reminder.

Another person cannot change your attitude.  It is your decision.  Years ago, during a difficult time in life, a friend told my mom “Don’t worry, be happy.”  What an awful piece of advice for anyone!  We all know it isn’t that simple.  Instead, remember to use TAAP:

  • Take note of your own emotions
  • Allow yourself time to process
  • Accept the situation as it is
  • Plan a way to move forward with an attitude that will be productive and best benefit you in the future.
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Accountability Keys for Success

I believe one of the hardest things to learn and to teach is how to finish a project once it is started.  As adults, it is easy to assume only young people need help in this area.  When we are younger, there is usually someone around to “remind” us what homework we didn’t finish or chores that are undone.  That isn’t always the case when we get out on our own.  With this in mind, we may actually seek out extra accountability from a peer even though there was a time when we dreaded our parents’ reminders.

Accountability is not only being responsible but knowing before-hand that you will have to answer for what you have done or not done.  Accountability is powerful and it works!  One of the most exciting relationships you can have is with someone who is able to keep you accountable on tasks you really want to accomplish but may seem impossible at first.  Still, that relationship has to have some very important foundations in place in order for it to be successful.

  • TRUST & RESPECT: You need to trust and respect your accountability partner and they need to trust and respect you
    IF NOT: You won’t listen or apply the words you hear from each other because you have already decided in your mind that they are not of value to you
  • SIMILAR GOALS: Both you and your accountability partner need to have somewhat similar goals that you consider important
    IF NOT: It will be difficult to support each other in effective ways because you are not equipped to make suggestions that help achieve the goals
  • SCHEDULED COMMUNICATION: Regular scheduled communication with your accountability partner needs to be required with goals listed for each session
    IF NOT: There will be no measurable format to give an account for what you have done or not done

These may seem easy to achieve but I have found that is not the case.  When they are all in place, the results are golden!

 

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That is Growth!

I saw a quote yesterday that I have heard and believed many times in the past. “We don’t grow when things are easy.  We grow when things are hard.”  However, I read it differently this time.  I realized that for years I have felt guilty when I was happy.  I had figured God could only use me while I was in misery.  It was as though my eyes had been opened when I read it this time.  I chuckled to myself and knew this saying that I had held in the back of my mind for so long was simply not true.  Yes, we can grow in hard times but we can grow unbelievably in good times as well.

There has been a lot of joy in my life recently.  In the past, that would have led me to believe there must be something awful coming.  In fact, it would have made me hope something awful was coming because otherwise I may get too happy and not be able to grow.  This is completely wrong thinking and will cause anyone to spiral into a terrible depression.

Today, I can tell you that I have grown tremendously because of the recent joys I have experienced.  I have learned that God doesn’t want me to be living in constant guilt and fear.  I have seen that there are so many reasons to smile if you look for them.  It has become clear that there is nothing wrong with having a positive attitude about life.  Rather, it is a great benefit spiritually and physically.

I know it won’t always be “easy”, as some would put it.  Still, when things are hard, I would venture to say that I will employ what I have learned during this time of joy and use it as a way to get through whatever comes in the future.  That is growth!

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Good Things and Great Things

“Good things take time, Great things happen all at once”  This phrase has popped into my head many times over the years but I completely forgot (until I googled it) that it came from the crazy movie Rat Race.  It is a good summary of our recent chapter of events in life.  Things have been very busy but very exciting also.  It has been almost to a point that we have to stop and check to confirm we aren’t dreaming.

I have always loved drama and excitement and will admit that I don’t want the craziness right now to end.  I want to continue exploring and meeting new people and doing new things all at once.  There seems to be so much positive energy to go around.  The smile on my face hasn’t gone away for long lately, except when I saw the wet towels from last night left on the bathroom floor this morning.

What about those “Good Things”
Still, I know I need to remember the importance of the good things that “took time” like our marriage of 16 years and our 2 incredible kids.  They are what will last if we don’t take them for granted.  Our daughter is not happy that I have been traveling all month because of various career opportunities.  She is used to me being available and in town almost always.  I absolutely need to make sure whatever new excitement going on now does not overshadow her incredible love.  That love is more valuable than anything “Great” could ever bring.

Who Gets the Credit
I also need to remember that the “Great things” that are happening right now so quickly, have been very much out of my control.  They are a gift from God and we hope we will honor Him by how hard we are working to succeed in the opportunities we have been given.  We can’t take credit when we see things happen the way they have recently.  Truly, it is a lot easier when we don’t have to be the ones to make the magic happen.

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Your Family is a Team

The conversation at the breakfast table this morning was a great representation of how family is truly a team and should operate as one.  A couple of years ago Erik and I put together The Anderson Family Mission Statement with 12 points that we go through regularly.  Today was number #8: Prioritize and Encourage each other as a family to reach our fullest potential.

This was very appropriate for the month we have been having.  Erik pointed out that last weekend, our family encouraged Daddy while he was writing music for a new movie.  This meant that all of us understood that he couldn’t come to Nana and Papa’s that weekend because of that project.  Then he stated that our family is now encouraging Mommy as she prepares to head to Virginia to speak at a conference.  Also, our family is supporting our kiddos as they work through the beginning of the new school year with all of its changes and excitement.

Ask Yourself:
How would any of us be able to reach our fullest potential in the new phases of our lives if we didn’t choose to support one another as a team?  There is the possibility for frustration if we don’t give each other grace as each of us needs it on new journeys.  There is the possibility for disappointment each time we expand our horizons and without knowing our family is going to be there, would we take the risk of moving outside our comfort zone in the first place?

Remember:
Your family is a team.  Each one of you needs the others to reach your fullest potential in this world.  Whether you clean up the kitchen when it isn’t your night or take the time to listen and encourage your first grader with his reading book, you just set your family up for success!  Keep up the good work!

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What is “New”?

What does “new” mean?  Is new good or bad?  I would venture to suggest that “new” is both good and bad.  It has a lot to do with how we choose to view it.  “New” may mean Windows upgraded again and now we have to relearn how we spend 10 hours of our day.  “New” may mean our customers have found a competitors’ product to replace what we have been selling them for years.  “New” may also mean a door has opened for a dream to come true that had been long determined as impossible.

There has been a lot of “new” for Erik and me lately in multiple areas.  Many times over the past month we have simply had to stop and remind ourselves of what hasn’t changed because so much has changed so quickly.  Our biggest challenge, aside from keeping up with all of it, has been taking the time to see the good in what is “new” in our lives.

Both of us regularly will take an interesting life update that led to a hospital trip or a large purchase at the local Home Depot, as useful material for the stage.  So anything new for us can mean more stories to share!  This is a great way for anyone to see the good in what may be “new” in your life.  Anytime we can step back and find a reason to smile or laugh at what is now different from before, we give ourselves an opportunity to recognize the amazing possibilities that come with what is new and we also can remember the importance of what has stayed constant through that change.

What is “new”in your world today?  New child?  New job?  New health challenge?  How have you decided to approach what comes as “new” to you?  What stories will you choose to share from what is “new”?

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You never know what will happen today…

Erik and I have been on a roller coaster over the past few months with how much has taken place in different directions of our lives.  As a result, we have determined that it is almost pointless to plan out the day in too much detail because we will no doubt be on a completely different track by mid-morning.

This isn’t always a bad thing.  In fact, it can be absolutely exhilarating when things you never could have believed possible all of the sudden begin to unfold.  It can also be a little hard to know exactly how to respond.  I always say that God created me for His own entertainment and I know He has been laughing up there a lot lately, so I’m glad I can be of service.

This summer has brought some deep hardships but it has also brought us to new place of belief in what the future has in store.  A future where I am telling all of the stories I have been given to share and Erik is composing more music than he has in years.  All of this with a 6 year old and an 8 year old along for the ride.  It’s hard not to be overwhelmed with energy and excitement.

Even in all of the new reasons for joy and enthusiasm, there will no doubt be lessons that we continue to learn along the way.  If we don’t learn them right away, we will be taught them again in another life adventure.  Right now, the lesson is to realize we can plan every detail of tomorrow but the truth is, if we let it, tomorrow could be even more amazing than we can fathom.

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