In this brave new world, first impressions are more important than ever. No one can afford to let into their “inner circle”, whether for work or social reasons, if they don’t make you feel at peace with their presence from the beginning. A good example of this is my experience with two blind companies that I asked to come in and bid out a few broken blinds.

An Uncomfortable Meeting Indeed

The first blind company consultant (the father/son owners) almost came in with no masks. They then proceeded to walk onto our carpet with shoes still on. When the time came for the bid, they sat right down at my dining room table and placed their large binders on my kitchen counter…without any kind of request. The father seemed tired of his job and admitted it was time for him to retire. It was as if I was an inconvenience to his day’s activities. I felt disrespected and dreaded the idea of working with this company in the future.

Wow!  What a Difference

The second company’s consultant (also part of the owner’s family) put his mask on right away and when he came in, he asked if he should remove his shoes or get some “booties” to wear in our home. Immediately, I felt a new level of comfort. I now knew he respected this was my home and he was a guest. He continued his kind service by explaining in detail what was needed and then taking a few minutes to fix one of the blinds we had expected to replace, with no charge.

When it came time for a written bid, he asked politely if it would be ok to sit at a table and where I would prefer we do so. The entire process included a kind smile that was easy to see even through a mask. What a difference! Which company would you want working in your home on this project?

Setting Yourself Apart

These elements of in we present ourselves are not outdated and certainly not any less appreciated than years before. In fact, they may set you apart in ways you never imagined:

• Respect of Others
• Unexpected Kindnesses
• A Friendly Demeanor
• Good Old-fashioned Manners

Remember these simple gems as you make your first impressions today and you will build bridges where none may have been possible before.

Right now it is easy to imagine that we can along on our own.  When you think of asking for assistance for small items like helping with the house or the kids, it doesn’t make a lot of sense since you aren’t supposed to have anyone in your homes right now anyway.  Still, we can’t do this alone.

If we are honest with ourselves, none of us ever imagined that this is how we would be doing life.  We never imagined this is how we would be parenting our young kids or “enjoying” our retirement but here we are.

My mother was the one who first pointed this out to me.  She came over for a few days to help get the kids ready for school as well as to do errands AND take care of the house, while Erik and I tried to catch up on work.  She had already done so much and I felt badly asking for more.  While she was checking off the list of school supplies she said “No one should have to parent through this crazy time alone and I’m so thankful I can help.”  WOW!  That was an eye opening statement.  I didn’t feel nearly as needy.  I just felt loved.

Ask Yourself

The truth is, we all need help.  Can you think of someone who recently reached out to ask if you needed anything?  Were you honest about what they could do or did you pretend you could do it all alone?  Take a second and see how important it is to be connected during this isolation adventure.

Christmas/ Flu Season

Well, I have to say that this has been a very difficult Christmas season for me.  Mostly because both my 6 year old son and I were sick with the flu during the whole thing.  Every part of my body ached all of the week of Christmas.  My only friends seemed to be the cough drops and the Kleenex box.  Even so, we traveled up to my husband’s family in MN.  I selfishly knew in my heart that his mom would take care of the cooking and the kids so that I could rest.

As you may know, it is very difficult to be positive when you are sick.  Even during the holidays.  When we arrived, I was greeted with hugs and laughter but also a bed that didn’t feel quite right and foods that didn’t fit my usual diet.  I wondered if I had made a bad decision to leave my own home with my own food and my own bed.  These thoughts continued as I realized how difficult it was for me to participate in any of the activities based on my level of energy and how often I was coughing for the full five days we were there.

Two Different Views

On Christmas Eve, there was everything from lutefisk to fruit soup.  A Scandinavian feast fit for tradition, but not necessarily fitness.  On Christmas Day, we opened the presents all at once which was much different from my own family tradition of going one person at a time as we sat for hours laughing and talking about each gift.  My heart ached for my own family memories and my mom’s bedside care at this sickly moment in my life.

The next day, Erik joined me on the couch with a child-like spirit and explained how overjoyed he was that his mom had made every single dish he could think of from his past Christmas memories.  Everything from rice pudding to cobbler for breakfast.  He explained that Christmas morning was just how he remembered it with gifts all at once so they could focus on brunch together.

My Mistake

It only took me a second to realize how terribly self-centered my thoughts had been.  We hadn’t spent Christmas with Erik’s family in a long time and now that we had, it was everything the man I loved could have dreamed it would be.  It didn’t matter that the spread was a little more rich than I usually put out.  It didn’t matter if the gift opening imitated my family memories or not.  What mattered was that my husband saw just how much time and care had been put into every detail of this Christmas by his loving mother.

My New Viewpoint

Even as sick as I was, there was no excuse for how I had previously viewed my experience here.  It brought such a smile to my face to see Erik so happy and at peace.  I grabbed onto his joy, closed my eyes and began to see the past few days in such a different way.  Our daughter, who never wants to cook, had spent many gleeful hours with Gramma in the kitchen rolling lefsa and preparing rice pudding for Christmas dinner.  Erik’s dad took the time, after the gifts had been opened, to put the new hockey game and the airplane model together with his grandson.  Also, I remembered the gluten free, sugar free banana bread that had been made just for me the morning after we arrived.

As you look back over the past few weeks with your family, I’m sure there will be good memories and not so good memories.  I challenge you to take the time to focus on the tradition and love behind as many as you can and you’ll be blessed, even if you can still barely speak because of that winter cold hanging on.