Wow! What a week! I was honored to share my story and mission at three separate events this past week. As a result, you can imagine that my emotions have been all over the place. One specific emotion that always seems to seep in no matter how positive the comments may be is the bitter monster of “self-doubt”.
Self-doubt has lured its ugly face into my head way too often. I am a generally positive person but I can be very quick to assume the worst about myself and my work. From conversations I have had with others, this is not specific to me.
Two Questions and Two Answers
Today I am working through two questions:
1) What are my plans for the future?
2) What can I learn from my experiences this past week to make that future even better?
I know I need to have a healthy balance of both if I am going to grow and not repeat past mistakes. If I allow self-doubt to be the main emotion as I answer these questions I am left with these answers:
1) There is no future. Stop now and spare the world your story.
2) You made so many drastic errors last week that there is no point in trying to learn from them.
You may be laughing after reading the answers above but you know it is not hard to fall into that line of thinking after you have completed any kind of an achievement, large or small. This is true even for those who are very established in what they do. Once you follow self-doubt this far, it is very hard to dig yourself out of that hole alone.
Honest Close Friends
This is when I am so thankful for honest close friends. Yesterday, I was texting my friend Stacy about how I felt I had said so many “dumb things” last week. This was her response “If you truly say ‘dumb things’ as often as you say you do, I would have heard some by now. Therefore, I’m going with the belief that you are being hard on yourself. So go get some comfy pjs on, wrap yourself in a warm blanket, watch Friends and relax.”
This advice was so simple and yet so valuable. These words helped me to admit to myself that self-doubt had indeed been the cause of my difficult thoughts. They also gave me permission to take a break from those thoughts and to relax in a way that only a close friend would understand. In addition, they gave me the encouragement to wake up this morning knowing I could move forward with passion regardless of what “self-doubt” had once suggested.
Next Time
Next time self-doubt sneaks in to steal one of your successes, I hope you have someone who can give you permission to kick it out of your way for good. Just as I was able to do here.