Opening Up

Anyone who knows me, including my husband Erik, knows that I have never been comfortable sharing details about my epilepsy.  I especially requested that family members of mine, including Erik, refrain from discussing those personal stories.  If I chose to share, that was my decision.  If someone else decided to share about me, I would not be a happy camper.  This has been the case for most of my life, until now.

The Interview

That is why this recent interview done about me and my family is such a huge step.  https://www.popsugar.com/family/mom-with-epilepsy-shares-what-parenting-is-like-47485715   It symbolized for me and for Erik, that I am ready for a third party to have a part in sharing my stories.  Erik even commented that he felt a new sense of freedom in being able to talk about what we had been through because of my seizures because of my willingness to share in this way.  Frankly, we were amazed that a story in this article happened less than a month ago and we had already come to a place where we could celebrate the joy we experienced during that time instead of the misfortune we had on that day.

Asking the Question

Why was I protecting my stories for so long?  I think part of this may be that I had already witnessed others who heard about my struggles, feeling sorry for me instead of celebrating my strengths that resulted from those struggles.  I didn’t want pity, I wanted to share champagne.

Are you hiding stories of the triumph you have had over life’s adventures because you don’t want other’s to feel sorry for you?  It is an interesting question to consider.  Even if this is true, you will never be able to raise your glass in overcoming if no one hears your story in the first place.

Your Next Step

I’m not suggesting every one of you must go out and post your life struggles all over the internet but I am suggesting that you share.  Still, be careful to share what you have learned in your adventures.  Also, make sure that whoever has been empowered as a third party to share your story presents you as someone to be celebrated and not someone to feel sorry for.

I promise, you will feel a new sense of freedom when you give permission to have your story told.  It will be a new season of celebration and honor that will move you even farther in your journey.

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The Value of Hope

“Hope is the anchor of the soul, the stimulus to action, and the incentive to achievement. – Anonymous

Hope is as precious as gold. Without it we can’t go on. The past couple of weeks in my life have helped me realize this even more than before.

My Hopes

After the difficult episode my family experienced due to my epilepsy, I once again had to choose to cling to hope. Hope that my injured ear would heal without problems. Hope that the flame of joy in our home would not be hindered but rather fanned even further. Hope that Erik would continue to love me in that incredibly self-less and romantic way he always has. And hope once again that this will have been the last seizure.

No matter how crazy it may sound after over 30 years of living this rollercoaster, I choose hope. If I didn’t, I know it wouldn’t be possible for me to be anything more than a person who has seizures. It would be a clear admission of defeat that would bring pain to me and everyone who cares for me. I would assume that I could never be healed. That the many voices who have shared the belief that I will one day be well are simply mistaken. It would be like fighting a war sure you have already lost.

The Result

But I must choose to continue on with hope guiding my triumph. First, I long to be a light of encouragement and laughter that stands out beyond the seizures. Next, I pursue with reckless abandon how to be the most committed and vivacious life partner, the most loving and uplifting mother, and the most encouraging and humorous friend. In all of this anger tries to strike my cause. Still, with even a tiny grasp on hope, I am employed to continue forward. I see all that is possible in spite of the little adjustments I may be forced to make along the way.

Ask Yourself

As I always say, we will all go through adventures in this life and we choose to learn from these experiences or keep repeating the mistakes. Today I challenge you to observe your life right now and ask yourself: Are you clinging to hope or assuming defeat?

This is a powerful way to look at what you are currently experiencing and determine why you may be succeeding or failing in your dreams. I would love to hear more about how you answered this question and what it meant for you. Please connect with me to share your story!

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Our Light in a Dark Time

Right now, there are a lot of messages encouraging us to help where we can but how in the world does anyone help when we aren’t even supposed to go near one another?  Well, sometimes the only way you can help is to take that risk.  I’m very thankful that my neighbors were willing to do that last week.

Hurting

I hurt.  There really isn’t another way to put it.  I had some seizures last week and hurt myself pretty badly.  We had to call on our neighbors to help us watch the kids while Erik took me in to the ER.  I was not a happy camper after my seizure so I wasn’t excited to see anyone else in our home or to hear that I was leaving but when I realized just how damaged my ear was, I understood why Erik had called them over.

I hate having to get emergency medical care and it is especially difficult when we are already dealing with a pandemic situation.  After weeks of doing everything we possibly can to stay home, we willingly went in to a medical care building.  To make it even worse, we were told to go to three different places.  We started at an Urgent Care and then went to an Emergency Room and then a bigger Emergency Room before I finally got stitched up.

The Light

The only light in all of this was the kindness of our neighbors.  I am beyond embarrassed that we needed to call on them in this way and amazed that they were willing to say “yes”.  They ended up being here for over 6 hours because of the many places we had to go.  They were truly angels to our family in this horrible time.

When Erik and I finally got home, their college age son was playing with our 7 year old boy.  Instead of having a negative look on his face, when we thanked Andrew for his help, he commented that we knew where to find them if we needed anything else.  That meant a lot to me.  We’ve only lived here about a year and we are still getting to understand the dynamics of the neighborhood.  With those words, I realized this wasn’t a one-time gift of kindness.  This is a bridge that will be left open from now on with a new understanding of needs.  I slept with a new sense of peace that night.

When you go through a difficult experience such as we did here, you look for the light or you end up lost.  I’m so thankful for the light our neighbors were willing to shine their light for us.

Ask Yourself

I know we’re not the only ones experiencing hard times, all of us on this earth are going through a very difficult experience and it is the perfect opportunity to look for the light or even to be the light that shines.  What small way can you be a light in a very dark time or maybe even what small light has been shone in your direction to help you make it through until tomorrow?

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