Do you WANT to listen to your spouse?

I believe in a healthy and fun relationship, you need to genuinely enjoy listening to one another.  Ask yourself: when they talk, do you find it almost impossible not to listen or do you seem to gaze off wishing your phone would interrupt for any reason?

Erik and I came into our relationship with many overlapping interests but also many that I would not have figured I would ever learn to appreciate.  However, with the way he explains the details in the Battle of Midway or the ways that a bassoon can change the whole feel of a music piece, how could I not be drawn in for more?  I learn so much from him every day.

Also, he makes it clear he hears my every word.  When I bring up funny questions about why a certain wine tastes just right or my new decisions on which lilies to buy for the garden, he listens and remembers my words and contributes to my thoughts and ideas…sometimes even buys me books to expand on those interests so I can grow even more.

• Actively listen to your spouse when they talk
  • Make it clear that things such as phones and the TV are set aside
  • Don’t talk over them or let anyone else interrupt
• Respond in a way that let’s them know you paid attention
  • Ask questions
  • Bring up additional similar thoughts on the same topic for discussion, even days later

You will be surprised what you learn!