Addition to TO DOs and Beyond

The Incident

This past weekend, a terrible thing happened. I was unable to log into my phone and I was forced to do a factory reset. If any of you have been through this, you understand. There is no real certainty for what will be saved and what will be lost forever. This was more than somewhat difficult for me to handle.
My contacts? My texts? What would all be gone? Then, it hit me: my To Do List App. The thought that everything I had saved to do for today and in the future may be completely wiped out was overwhelming. I was in tears. This fear was taking over me but why?

At a time when there is so much panic about illness on our planet, so much sadness and disconnect, my apparent greatest fear was that I would lose control of my to do lists. Apparently the dopamine that I gain from checking off those boxes each day and the forced control I assume by laying out my plans minute by minute has become an addiction. That realization quickly caused me to rethink what could be done when my phone was unavailable for service.

The Lesson

I took this past weekend to observe just how many times I thought about grabbing that small piece of metal and how much more often I made eye contact with my kids because it wasn’t there. Yes, I worried about who couldn’t reach me and whether I had missed any items I needed to do. Still, I gave myself permission to let that go because it was literally out of my control.

My phone is back up and running but I’m still spending time resetting many items. It is like starting fresh in many ways. Thankfully, my contacts and even my to do list items were returned to me almost completely intact.

Erik brought this instance up a couple of days later. He said “Over the past four days we have been through a lot of stresses with the kids and other items but nothing seemed to put you over the edge like the idea of losing that to do list.” I began to giggle and admit just how right he was. The giggles turned to extreme laughter. I thanked God once again that I had someone like Erik to love me even through this kind of craziness, sometimes because of this kind of craziness.

In addition to a good dose of laughter, I feel like I made progress in my mission to learn how to live “In the Present” during this incredibly concerning time. I taught myself just how much that phone is a hindrance to that mission and that I should take breaks from that controlling item more regularly to enjoy connection with my family.

Application

Now, the hard part…application of that lesson. I admit this will not be easy but I know in my heart it will make a positive difference in my future. You may know exactly what I mean or you may have already learned this lesson well. I invite you to think about just what may be an unusual type of addiction that is draining you verses helping you fill others up during this time. TV? Cooking? Video games? Check your motivation to find out for yourself.

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An Account of Raspberries

Although I have usually been a very left-brained individual (regularly focused on the past or future & excited about organizing and lists), I believe it is in my best interest to balance things out a little.  I can tell that my right brain never gets the attention it needs so it “falls asleep” quite often.  Previously, I didn’t notice.  Colorful objects and patterns or things occurring right here and now don’t usually catch my eye because I am so focused on getting that next box checked on my to do list.

My mission, if I choose to accept it, is to regularly exercise and pay attention to my right brain so it is there when I need it.  I have come up with some pretty interesting ways to do this lately and I plan to write about them more in other posts.  For now, I want to tell you about what happened today when I got stuck in my left brain.

Today’s Project

This morning I was working on our balance sheet.  I know I am a little late in getting this completed but it is better late than never.  All morning I had been looking at bank and retirement accounts on paper and on the computer.  Some I hadn’t signed into in a very long time.  That meant codes and passwords and emails and phone calls.  All of this, for the sake of numbers.  I will admit that every time I got one of the numbers that I could enter into the empty space on my sheet, it was a little shot of adrenaline…I had found a piece of the puzzle!  Still, it was all very left brained work.

While I was in the middle of this project, the kids began to express their eagerness for lunch to begin.  They were coming in and out with various requests and animations.  I slowly lost my concentration on the numerical project at hand as I realized I was quite hungry as well.

Lunch Laughter

Erik and I started putting lunch together and I took some fresh raspberries out of the fridge.  I had to quickly stop both kids from sticking their hands into the bowl.  “Keep your hands out of the account!” I said in a very strong tone.  As soon as I said it, I hoped in my heart no one had notice but it was not to be.  Erik began laughing soon after and asked “What did you say?  An account of raspberries?!” We both laughed quite hard after that.  The kids began giggling soon after.  Probably because mommy and daddy both looked so silly and not because they actually understood what was so funny.

The next thing Erik said was “That’s one for the blog!”  At first, I didn’t agree but then I realized it was important to pay attention to the journey I am on with my brain.  This morning I can definitely say that I was stuck in my left brain and my right brain is obviously in need of attention.

How about You?

Have you taken this unusual time of uncertainty to truly focus on the simple things such as the beauty of art and music and your own imagination?  If so, I am very proud of you.  If not, I personally give you permission to take a break from your ongoing list of to dos and simply take the time to close your eyes and let your right brain guide you for a while.  Or, you can just keep going through those accounts of fruit.  It’s your choice!

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