Addition to TO DOs and Beyond

The Incident

This past weekend, a terrible thing happened. I was unable to log into my phone and I was forced to do a factory reset. If any of you have been through this, you understand. There is no real certainty for what will be saved and what will be lost forever. This was more than somewhat difficult for me to handle.
My contacts? My texts? What would all be gone? Then, it hit me: my To Do List App. The thought that everything I had saved to do for today and in the future may be completely wiped out was overwhelming. I was in tears. This fear was taking over me but why?

At a time when there is so much panic about illness on our planet, so much sadness and disconnect, my apparent greatest fear was that I would lose control of my to do lists. Apparently the dopamine that I gain from checking off those boxes each day and the forced control I assume by laying out my plans minute by minute has become an addiction. That realization quickly caused me to rethink what could be done when my phone was unavailable for service.

The Lesson

I took this past weekend to observe just how many times I thought about grabbing that small piece of metal and how much more often I made eye contact with my kids because it wasn’t there. Yes, I worried about who couldn’t reach me and whether I had missed any items I needed to do. Still, I gave myself permission to let that go because it was literally out of my control.

My phone is back up and running but I’m still spending time resetting many items. It is like starting fresh in many ways. Thankfully, my contacts and even my to do list items were returned to me almost completely intact.

Erik brought this instance up a couple of days later. He said “Over the past four days we have been through a lot of stresses with the kids and other items but nothing seemed to put you over the edge like the idea of losing that to do list.” I began to giggle and admit just how right he was. The giggles turned to extreme laughter. I thanked God once again that I had someone like Erik to love me even through this kind of craziness, sometimes because of this kind of craziness.

In addition to a good dose of laughter, I feel like I made progress in my mission to learn how to live “In the Present” during this incredibly concerning time. I taught myself just how much that phone is a hindrance to that mission and that I should take breaks from that controlling item more regularly to enjoy connection with my family.

Application

Now, the hard part…application of that lesson. I admit this will not be easy but I know in my heart it will make a positive difference in my future. You may know exactly what I mean or you may have already learned this lesson well. I invite you to think about just what may be an unusual type of addiction that is draining you verses helping you fill others up during this time. TV? Cooking? Video games? Check your motivation to find out for yourself.